18, can you see it?
18 glorious days until my husband’s beloved swimmers are FREE of their chemically altered structure. (SEE our post about our appointment with our Reproductive Endocrinologist.)
Friday, April 6 is our day! Spermatogenesis will be complete and hopefully we will be on our way to a pregnancy. Am I that hopeful? Not really at this point. Hope was alive for a good 6 weeks, but is beginning to fade. I take in almost completed pregnancies and toddling toddlers all around me and I find it hard to believe that I will ever get to live through a stage such as that. It’s protective. It’s my ability to cope. To somehow persevere…to maintain, at times, at least in this area, a glass half-empty mentality. I will give it the phrase – guarding my heart. There has already been so much hurt, bleeding pain, and ceaseless tears. So, I wait. I live. One day at a time. A philosophy that works, that protects, that offers hope in the stagnant waiting in which we walk.