Trigger Tonight

I am beyond thrilled!  I have finally been given the green light to take my trigger shot tonight.  I am currently on Day 9 of my stimulation medications.  My body has responded all too well to the drugs and they have been worried about my risk of developing ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS).  As a result, every other day, after my ultrasound and lab work results have come back, my meds have been decreased in hopes that my estrogen levels wouldn’t continue to rise too dramatically. They say they like to see them double every other day, mine had been tripling early on.  Though decreasing my doses has increased the duration of my treatment cycle, it is a HUGE precautionary step for which I am so grateful.  Also, I have read that an estrogen level above 5000 on the day of trigger can dramatically increase your risk of OHSS.  After backing off my Follistim significantly on Friday, I am finally where they want me, an estrogen level of 3967 and 22 follicles.

Nonetheless, on Friday they started me on an OHSS preventative diet. This diet will help keep fluid in my blood stream and moving through and out of my body, rather than into my cells which would result in water retention, bloating and many potentially SEVERE complications. This diet includes the following recommendations.

• No Free Water.  My husband picked up some NUUN dissolvable electrolyte tablets at REI…so far, so good.
• High PROTEIN.  Whey protein shakes.  I am adjusting…not a huge shake girl, but it’s for a short time.
• High Sodium.  I like a little salt on things, but I’m typically not one who loves a little food with her salt.  But, once again, a small sacrifice. They recommend drinking V8 juice for this.  This has NEVER been a beverage of choice for me.  NASTY stuff…but I might as well drink in a few more veggies.
• Limiting carbs, sugar, pasta…all that good stuff!

Anyway, one day at a time.  I am going into my egg retrieval eyes wide open.  I have done the anesthesia for egg retrievals many times, it’ll be interesting being on the receiving side of the IV this time.  Though I give anesthesia every day, I am definitely more nervous about THAT then I am the retrieval.  I am sure it will all go very smoothly.

I feel super blessed to be in this spot!  God is SO good and it has been a very LONG journey.  I am just so thankful for my sweet husband, supportive friends and such a wonderful infertility clinic to help me through this process!

Here’s a pic to spice up this post.  My favorite Chateau of the Loire Valley with QUITE a juicy story behind it.  Chenoceau.

so little control…waiting for retrieval

So little control.  So much faith.  I will not give up hope that this IVF cycle will be a success.

In my CoNTroL:

• Taking the right medications at the right time
• What I eat
• Getting to my appointments

OUT of my CoNTroL:

• How many follicles grow (today there were 24, an ever changing number)
• How many eggs I produce
• How many mature eggs there will be
• How many will fertilize
• How many will grow for 5 days
• If there will be any left to transfer
• If there will be any to freeze
• If the transferred embryos will implant
• If an embryo will be carried to term

So much is out of my hands.  No amount of stress, worry, or determination will change ANY of these factors.  I have never felt more out of control.  This journey is not a product of my own preparation or study or pursuit or persistence like so many other things in the past.  I have never had to depend more on my Maker, to trust more entirely in His plan for my life.  I can’t do anything but my own small part.  The rest is up to Him.  Though this is my body, it’s ultimately putty in the hands of my GREAT GOD…who is moving and willfully knitting together my life, my story, and the journey through which He will use me.  I remain grateful that I don’t have to muster up another ounce of strength to make my way through it…for He is my HOPE and my STRENGTH.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

I LOVE my story, I would not trade it for any others.  Though it has been full of hurt and heartache these have been but moments in a far greater current of love, adventure, and blessing.

Thank you.  I wait on you, Jesus.