In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, I am posting my “Don’t Ignore” Essay:
Don’t Ignore Infertility.
Grief, loss, waiting, hoping…
So many emotions. You stop, you think…I know this story. I have seen it in the lives of others… the death of a loved one, the loss of a dream, the diagnosis of cancer. These are just a few of the events in life that we associate with these emotions. But there is another one. One you may have never considered. One that is silent, one that dares not speak out for fear of rejection, for fear that it may be brushed aside and undermined. That event, that state of being, that place is called INFERTILITY. It is dreadful, painful, and consuming for the those that bear its curse. It’s not just one death that your heart suffers, but its cyclical and raises its ugly head month after month, cycle after cycle, sometimes year after year. It’s a season mostly lived in the valleys with the very occasional mountaintop. It often appears to be a battle of the will and a test of the human spirit. Who will ultimately win? Will you fall victim to infertility, to its mighty weight of disappointment and the onslaught of depression? Or will you transcend its current, and hold fast to hope. Trust that your Lord has a purpose, that He is perfecting you. Trusting that one day you will have the family you seek. Trusting that time will reveal the means. For now, you endure the hows.
Living beyond infertility is a prayer that remains unanswered for some time, for many…it takes years. It holds fast, strong and steady, with little relief. There is always another test, another ultrasound, another appointment just around the corner. It means juggling your schedule, giving up your favorite foods and beverages, and funneling your meager financial resources towards the ultimate goal of having a family.
You may think…what’s the big deal? There are thousands of children in need of a forever home. Yes, this may be true, but in saying so you dismiss the God-given desire, the God-given hope for a family of our own. Though many of us will one day end up adopting, many of us will utilize the modern sciences to bring about the life within our womb we so long for. We need your empathy, your love, and your support. We don’t need your quick fixes and your advice. Until you have walked a thousand days in our shoes, please withhold your comments and consider the journey through our eyes. We are tired. We are weary. We are in need of rest. We come thirsty. We wait. We excel at waiting. We are left will little choice but to learn to endure. We learn the art of healing our own broken heart that has been crushed countless times. Our hands are delicate, our minds introspective. We see the world in new ways and are quick to understand the grief that others walk in and live with.
Please try to understand ours. Don’t ignore infertility.
Thank you for reading this.